I wish I could teleport
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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