i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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