If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
