i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
