Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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