i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
