I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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