You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
