ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
