I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
