whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
