OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
