I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
