you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
