just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
