So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
