Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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