I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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