It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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