matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I believe in your delicious
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
