Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Threesome in a minivan. New low
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
