sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
