She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
