If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
