he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Last time i carry you out of a forest
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
