yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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