it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Please, let me fuck your mom
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize