YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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