i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
