can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
