No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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