Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
True strength comes from lack of pants
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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