Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
