He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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