Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
