I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
