why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
