I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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