just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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