I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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