what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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