Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
