Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
