Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
