you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
