I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
