well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Let's paint friendship bongs
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
