got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
