I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
