i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
